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看笑話學英文

把English
讀為"應給利息"的同學當了執行長;
讀為"陰溝裡洗"的成了小菜販子;
讀為"因果聯繫"的成了哲學家;
讀為"硬改歷史"的成了政治家;
讀為"英國裡去"的成了海外華僑;
而我 不小心讀成了"應該累死"
結果成了公司職員.........
 
有天老師請小明用 "Green" , "Pink" , "Yellow" 三種顏色造句,
小明想了老半天,終於開口說話了:
"Green...Green...Green"..., I "pink" the phone and say "Yellow".
(正確應為 "Ring….Ring…Ring…, I pick the phone and say hello". )
 
有天老師請小明用英文描述車禍,小明想了又想,
就說 "One car come, two cars bump, three cars O-E-O-E."

補充字彙:車禍car accident 、救護車ambulance
 
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
 
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . .having friends.
At age 17 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . .having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
 
The Importance of the Second Language ~ 第二外語有多重要

A cat chased a mouse into a hole and sat outside meowing. After a while, the mouse heard a dog barking and thought “Great! Now the dog is here. The cat must be gone.” So, the mouse came out checking the dog. As soon as he came out, he was caught by the cat again. He begged the cat ”Before you eat me, would you tell me one thing? Where is the dog barking here just now?” The cat answered in laugh “Don’t you know nowadays it’s very important to learn a second language?”
有一隻貓追著一隻老鼠,老鼠躲到洞內,小貓只好坐在洞外喵喵叫,等待老鼠出來。
過了一陣子,躲在洞內的老鼠聽到狗叫聲,心想狗來了,貓一定跑掉了,於是探出頭來看看,沒想到還是立刻被貓一把捉住。
老鼠向貓求情說:「在你吃掉我之前,我可以知道剛才那隻在叫的狗在哪?」
貓笑著說:「你難道不知道會說第二外語的重要嗎?」。
 
道高一丈

教授在教室黑板上寫著:
「I will meet the class at 5:00. 」 (我會在五點來上課)
幾個剛到教室的學生看到留言,就開玩笑地把class的「c」擦掉,變成~
「I will meet the lass at 5:00. 」(我會在五點會見情婦)
當教授回來看到黑板上的留言被修改後,
他拿起板擦,又把lass的「l」擦掉,變成~
「I will meet the ass at 5:00. 」(我會在五點會見驢子)
然後對著學生說:「驢子們,上課了!」
 
Interesting Comparisons 有趣的對比

Smart man + Smart woman = Romance
Smart man + Dumb woman = Pregnancy
Dumb man + Smart woman = Affair
Dumb man + Dumb woman = Marriage

Smart boss + Smart employee = Profit
Smart boss + Dumb employee = Production
Dumb boss + Smart employee = Promotion
Dumb boss + Dumb employee = Overtime

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

A successful man is one who makes more money
.. than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

Q: "What promises do a man and a woman make when
.... they get married?"
A: "A man and a woman promise to go through sickness,
.... illness and disease together.


KK音標互動教學

電話英文

你是否曾接到外國人電話,卻不知如何應答?
其實電話英文一點都不難,只要記下常用急救電話用語,你可以更自信大膽的說英文!
自我介紹
Introduction

Hello, this is Jane with Time International Language Center.
你好,我是時代國際英日語的珍.

Hi. This is Jane returning your call.
嗨!我是珍,回電給你。

接聽電話
Answering calls
This is Time International Language Center. How may I help you?
這裡是時代國際英日語,有什麼我可以為你效勞的嗎?
詢問某人
Asking for someone

May I speak to ... , please? 我想找...

I’d like to talk to ... 我想找...

I am trying to reach ... 我想找...

Could you connect me to extension number 211?
請幫找轉接分機號碼211

Hi, Julie. Are you free to talk?嗨!茱莉,你方便說話嗎?

說明來電目的
Explain the purpose

I am calling to... 我打來是為了...

I would like to talk to you about ..我想找...

The reason I am calling is that ... 我打來的原因是...

了解來電者
Asking for callers
May I ask who's calling, please?
請問你哪裡找?
保留與轉接
Hold and transfer callsbr

Please hold on a second. 請等一下

One moment, please. I will transfer your call to ...
請稍等,我將轉接你的來電給…

Jessica is on line one.潔西卡在1線.

無法接聽
Unable to answer the call

He is on another line right now. 他現在電話中

She is not in. Could you call again in 30 minutes?
她現在不在,你可以半小時後再打來嗎?

She is in a meeting. Would you like Jessica to return your call?
她在開會,你需要潔西卡回電嗎?

留言
Leave a message

Would you like to leave a message? 你想要留言嗎?

Please tell him Danny from Time International Language Center called.
請告訴他,時代國際英日語的丹尼來電。

請求對方
Ask for something

May I leave a message? 我可以留言嗎?

My English is not very good. Could you please speak more slowly?"
我的英文不是很好,可以請你說慢一點嗎?

I can’t hear you well. Could you please speak louder?
我聽不太清楚,可以請你大聲一點嗎?

旅遊英文




最受歡迎的英文名字

Name(英文名) Translation(翻譯) meaning(典故) Name(英文名) Translation (翻譯) meaning (典故)
Amy 艾咪 可愛的、心愛的人 Jennifer 珍妮弗 白色的波浪
Annie 安妮 仁慈的上帝 Jessica 傑西卡 上帝的恩寵
Catherine 凱薩琳 純潔的 Sharon 雪倫 很美的公主
Doris 桃樂絲 屬於大海的 Sophia 蘇菲雅 智慧
Emily 艾蜜莉 和藹可親的 Teresa 泰瑞莎 收穫、收穫者
Eva 伊凡 生命、生氣蓬勃的 Tina 蒂娜 基督的追隨者
Helen 海倫 光彩照人的美女 Vanessa 凡妮莎 蝴蝶、上帝的恩惠
Irene 艾琳 和平女神 Vivian 薇薇安 活潑的
Adam 亞當 用紅土做的男人 Joseph 約瑟夫 願上帝增強
Andrew 安德魯 有男子氣慨的 Kevin 凱文 高貴的血統
Brian 布萊恩 強健的 Michael 麥可
像上帝一樣的人
Daniel 丹尼爾 上帝是審判者 Peter 彼得 岩石、堅強的人
David 大衛 可愛的 Robert 羅伯特 名望
Jack 傑克 上帝的恩賜 Richard 理查 嚴厲的國王
James 詹姆士 追隨者 Steven 史蒂文 王冠、花冠

你知道美語和英語的差異嗎?

中譯 American English美語 British English英語 中譯 American English美語 British English英語
中心/中央 center centre 秋天 fall autumn
顏色 color colour 餅干 cookie biscuit
勞工 labor labour 行李 luggage baggage
組織 organize organise 汽車 automobile car
了解 realize realise 薯條 French fries chips
電影院 theater theatre 公寓 apartment flat
水龍頭 faucet tap 足球 soccer football
電影院 cinema movie theater 一樓 first floor ground floor
人行道 sidewalk pavement 電梯 elevator lift
汽油 gasoline petrol 卡車 truck
lorry
橡皮擦 eraser rubber 寄信 post mail
商店 store shop 長褲 pants trousers
糖果 candy sweets 藥房 pharmacy chemist
地下鐵 subway tube drugstore
underground    

繞口令Tongue Twister

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pepper.
Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled pepper?
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pepper, where is the peck of pickled pepper Peter Piper picked?

實用英語單字

在我們的日常生活中,一些日用品的英文說法就是借用其出產公司名稱,這些都是很 in 的說英文說法,要學起來喔!

Band-Aid OK 繃 Coca-Cola 可樂 Ping-Pong 乒乓球
Frisbee 飛盤 Q-Tips 棉花棒 Jeep 吉普車
Jell-O 果凍 Scotch Tape 隱形膠帶 Kleenex 衛生紙
Kodak 小型照相機 Levi's 牛仔褲 Vaseline 凡士林
Xerox 影印機 Walkman 隨身聽